Meh. Just meh. I'm sorry that this will just be a boring and ordinary sorry post saying sorry for why I haven't blogged. And I am truly sorry *woah Jess, stop with the sorry's*. I am currently in a slight existential crisis. I have a huge list inside my head of what I want to achieve this school year. Is it going to happen? Probably not. So here is a list of why I haven't been able to blog, my mis-match feelings at this precise time and promises for the future.
1// School. This is my last year of high school which means GCSE's. In four days I sit my Maths GCSE then in six days I sit my English. Like, where has my childhood gone. My brain has been occupied with revision and worry, which leaves little time for blog posts.
2// I am almost sixteen. Okay, I should be excited. Yet, I feel like I haven't done nearly half the stuff I should have done by now. I wanted to have a book published. To have kissed a boy. To have got a job. Cross, cross, cross. I went to a party last night and everyone was drunk and kissing. I just felt too scared. Too scared to jump on the fit boy's lap like EVERYONE else was doing. Too scared to play spin the bottle. I drunk but not to an extent to which I was drunk. Does this make me a bad teenager? I don't know, my head is messed up as if someone has scribbled over it in felt tip.
3// Promotions. Honestly, ever since I did my collaboration with DarkWoodJars and got sent the Triangl bikini, I thought I'd made it big. I constantly checked my email expecting waves of clothing stores begging for my address. Erm. That didn't happen. I did feel slightly deflated, yet I am just starting out. This blog has years to go.
4// Photography. The perks of my birthday coming soon means presents. Oh yes, a new camera. I cannot wait to start photographing life again and sharing it with all my lovely readers.
5// Summer. When my GCSE's are over and I have a piece of paper containing the grades that are 'the key to my future', I will make it my priority to get my blog on the rise upwards *is that even a saying?*. I have so many ideas like a cheeky little jewellery shop, photo shoots and so much more - I just have to get this year out the way.
Sorry for this horribly boring post. It definitely helped me, writing out my current mental dysfunctions. Hopefully, see you soon but if not please appreciate it will be due to the amount of work suffocating me. Happy last weekend of half term if you are English :)
-J
