of nothing + everything.

I felt compelled to write a blog post. About what exactly... is the question I'm asking myself, right now, as I type this with pyjama bottoms, a messy ponytail and coursework waiting to be written.

Words are very strange and very fascinating. Somehow, what I'm thinking in my messy-messy brain can translate on to paper (or in this case, a computer screen). And then sometimes, somehow, words aren't enough and everything is just very blank and heavy and nothing.

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago when everything felt very jumbled and I was angry, sad, stupefied and very very tired:

I’m a myriad of thoughts, emotions, expressions, laughter, tears and stillness. How can you even begin to unpick what I’m feeling?

And I guess that 'you' could be nothing and everything all at once. Am I making sense? Maybe. It doesn't really matter... sometimes words are meant to be just that- words. 

(I've been studying Hamlet and it appears his soliloquy's are affecting more than I realised- oops). 

Everything is always romanticised. All the emotions. It's all a bit messy- like a jigsaw puzzle being forced together and we're told 'that's just life'. 

And sometimes I want to be completely in-eloquent and sum up everything (and nothing) with 'bleh.' 

So, yes, I feel as though I am at a war with words and feelings and all the little unspoken emotions threaded in between... 

Until next time,

-J

P.S. 201 followers on bloglovin'. Hell yeah! 

spontaneity and a playlist.

spontaneity.

My word of the month. So exciting. So s p o n t a n e o u s. Let's act. Just go. Live.

Last Wednesday I did something so utterly spontaneous and so utterly freeing. Meeting a stranger can be incredibly daunting (will they like me? will it be awkward? what happens if we don't connect?) which is exactly why I didn't give myself a chance to feel nervous. I just did.

And now I'm going to just do.

Below are a few snaps of my London adventure with my new Dutch friend Sophie. And some very spontaneous songs to dance around to.  Urgh. I am now entirely in love with spontaneity and quite possibly even more addicted to adventure...

(above was taken on Ciara's 18th... we  slept in this beautiful tent and got a little bit drunk prank calling pizza places like 9 year olds)

All pictures were taken from my instagram (oceanpainter_) Do give the songs a try- they are so inspiring. 

Be spontaneously spontaneous in moments that beg for spontaneity,

-J

(let me know below any post ideas... I've got a few autumn ideas eek)

self + faces.

I.

There's a lot of self in this world, both online and not. Self esteem. Self belief. Self confidence. Yet as our self____  makes us smile,  it tears others down. Whilst their self____ radiates, we doubt ours. It's a vicious cycle and I hate it. I.

Have you ever looked a girl and thought, wow she's beautiful without automatically thinking, wow I'm not. Or wow, she's prettier then me. Hotter than me. Better than me... until you've reduced yourself to a lesser being. I know I have. We are such a critical race and criticise we shall. Everything. Our eyebrow shape, the size of our eyes, lips, skin, hair, teeth. Everything that ticks the box of 'human'. Scrolling through tumblr, I will see picture upon picture of beautiful girls. 'Beautiful'.

And yet they all look different. Beauty is so broad; why the hell can't you fit in to it too? And when I look at these girls I don't feel self belief or self confidence or self esteem. I feel self doubt. The same way every single person behind the camera would feel self doubt at seeing another 'beautiful' face. It's so sad that we can't appreciate beauty without criticising our own. That we can't say you're beautiful without thinking of our self.

I want to challenge us to compliment; to love other beauty and self love our own. Let's bring everyone up (including ourselves). Faces appreciating faces. That- that's beautiful.

As always, replies are welcome.
-J

procrastination + netflix.

I'm a cliche but Netflix. Yes, it may or may not have ruined my school life but Netflix. I've provided a  a little run down of my favourite Netflix adventures. Happy watching (and procrastinating). 

Stranger Things.  I must admit, I was reluctant to start this show. The hype scared me. And yet, obviously, I caved and.... l o v e d i t. It's spooky (but not overly so- I get horrendously scared by horror films and could only watch Harry Potter a few years ago without my head behind a pillow), it's touching and so unbelievably 80's. And the acting. If you like mysteries, plots and, in my opinion, amazing fashion then I highly recommend. 

Gossip Girl.  This was the first Netflix series I ever watched and was d e v o u r e d by me and my best friend. It's intoxicating. Character development, a certain 'ship' which I shall not spoil, and a mystery (of course) is what makes this series so addictive. It's escapism and the Upper East Side is an intriguing place to escape to...

How to get away with murder. I watched this in two days. Honestly, it's unhealthy. It's gripping and hooks you from episode one (trust me). Again, nothing too disturbing (I watched most of this in the dark, alone, at 11pm and survived) but so damn good. You will not want to stop watching. Ever. 

And I now want to be a lawyer. 

Pretty Little Liars Warning: this show will frustrate you. Seven seasons of not knowing is an agonising time and you'll soon find that as each season finale intensifies,  the desperation to KNOW does too. (This know will be apparent in the first episode of season one. Season. One.) That being said, there's something so incredibly addicting about PLL. I am entirely invested in these characters after such an emotional journey (and still going) that it would be cruel to turn off and leave. Definitely a good one to watch with a friend. Lots of very attractive people in Rosewood too...

And then my guilty pleasure. Once Upon A Time.  I can't deny that there are some serious plot holes; the seasons get progressively worse; the CGI is horrific and there are times where I am screaming at the writers.. and yet it still remains my favourite TV series. If OUAT gets you, it gets you. Utterly so. I would go as far to say that it is an obsession. The characterisation (for the most part) is superb and features one of my  favourite actor and actresses, Lana Parrilla and Robert Carlyle. The story line is enchanting, heart felt, clever and so ridiculously captivating. It a series of incredible depth, unspoken subtext and magic. And Swan Queen. 

Okay, that was fun. Post requests are always welcome.. 

-J

just chat.

I wanted to change some things on this website. Like everyone, I've grown up- grown out of the same blogging identity I've carried around since I was thirteen. I'm inspired, uninspired, inspired, uninspired yet I am certain that I want this blog to grow with me.

I'm almost eighteen.

Things are changing in my life, constantly changing. I never have a stable mindset and am always, constantly, frantically looking to the next movement -  the next change. This blog has slowly, somehow slipped in to commercialism. If it's done right, I'm not against it. But so often it isn't and I'm scared that Painting The Ocean maybe moving in to isn't and that's a change I'm not okay with.

Working with brands is exciting. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. BUT (because there's always a but isn't there?) I refuse to let that jeopardise the realism I've worked so hard to achieve on this blog. I refuse to become just another lifestyle blogger portraying something that isn't really a lifestyle at all.

Balance.

It's all about finding a balance. Balancing school work and a social life, balancing blogging and instagram, balancing writing and reading, balancing sleeping and staying awake. There are always going to be inequities- and that's okay- but for now, at least, I want to write. About everything. About nothing. About the in between that isn't  poeticised.  I love communication, strangers, expression and creativity...

So, yes, there is going to be a change. In myself, more than anything. Freedom. And it already feels so damn good.

-J