I'm almost eighteen.
Things are changing in my life, constantly changing. I never have a stable mindset and am always, constantly, frantically looking to the next movement - the next change. This blog has slowly, somehow slipped in to commercialism. If it's done right, I'm not against it. But so often it isn't and I'm scared that Painting The Ocean maybe moving in to isn't and that's a change I'm not okay with.
Working with brands is exciting. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. BUT (because there's always a but isn't there?) I refuse to let that jeopardise the realism I've worked so hard to achieve on this blog. I refuse to become just another lifestyle blogger portraying something that isn't really a lifestyle at all.
Balance.
It's all about finding a balance. Balancing school work and a social life, balancing blogging and instagram, balancing writing and reading, balancing sleeping and staying awake. There are always going to be inequities- and that's okay- but for now, at least, I want to write. About everything. About nothing. About the in between that isn't poeticised. I love communication, strangers, expression and creativity...
So, yes, there is going to be a change. In myself, more than anything. Freedom. And it already feels so damn good.
-J
